Alchemists with the Fellowship
by Yaki
Summary: Ed, Al, and Winry try to cope with various fellowship members. Takes place in the alchemic world AFTER the whole series, so don't read it if you haven't finished FMA.
1. Chapter 1

**Ed, Al, And Winry with the Fellowship**

**Disclaimer: What's with all this disclaimer stuff? Ok, ok, I'll do a disclaimer... (scowls) I write the storyline, not create the characters. They belong to...oh gosh, what's her name? Hiromu Arakawa, that's it! And J.R.R. Tolkien. Him, too. On with the story...**

Little did Edward and Alphonse realize, their daring and heroic feat of destroying that which saves and kills, the Gate, only led to the creation of another powerful Gate that dealt not with parallel universes, but with completely different universes altogether.

A few days after the Gate was successfully destroyed, Edward, Alphonse, and Winry were slowly making their way toward Risenbul from Rush Valley.

"Honestly," Winry began as she examined a newly-developed screw, "if you just took better care of your automail like I tell you to every single _day,_ we wouldn't have to make these long journeys all over Amestris."

"Or you could just keep all of your equipment decently stocked in the first place," Ed retorted. Winry shot a glare at him.

"If you wouldn'tconstantly break your arm and take my supplies, we wouldn't even be out here."

Ed gave her an accusing look, but he knew she was right. He _was_ a bit rough on his artificial limbs.

Then it happened. Ed's instincts went into overdrive again.

"Al, look out!" Ed screamed as he flung his right arm over Al's head into the creature he saw out of the corner of his eye. Or so he thought.

The automail arm smashed against a tree in the shadows of a forest. The encasing steel cracked and broke off in bits.

Ed stared in wide-eyed horror at the splintered metal he called his arm. His first instinct (after he'd finally regained control over them) was to run like he had never run in his life. His second instinct was to pretend like nothing had happened and continue to amble on carelessly. Plan C was suicide.

Trying to decide which of the three choices to make, Ed eyed Winry cautiously. He only glimpsed her flaming eyes before quickly averting his gaze back to his broken limb. There goes plan B. It was now either sprint like heck or find a deadly object before Winry could.

He chose A.

_"Edward Elric, you get back here!_" Winry screamed at the top of her lungs as she took off toward the fleeing body.

Al, watching the festivities from the sideline, could only sigh. "Have they even changed at all?" He mumbled to himself. Even though Ed and Winry were now eighteen, they still had the maturity of two fourteen-year-olds.

Ed glanced back to get a good view of the distance he had put between him and the attacker. Unfortunately, it was less than what he started out with. "Oh d—" Ed began before he plummeted into something obviously in front of him. The force sent Ed flying downward toward the ground.

He looked up to figure out what could possibly have obstructed his path in the middle of the road. Nothing there. He looked down and saw someone lying in the dirt, clutching his head and cursing aloud. Five other figures stood over the fallen man. Three were laughing and pointing at their comrade, and the other two (evidently the intelligent ones of the group) were staring at the one who had slammed into their friend. Or what was presumably their friend.

Four of the five that were standing above the man on the ground had the bodies of children but the faces of young adults. The remaining one standing was tall and slender, with long blonde hair and ears pointed at the tips. And the fallen one couldn't be—

"A dwarf! It's your kin, Ed!" Winry cried joyfully, pointing at the ground and completely ignoring the fact that these people were apparently not human. Not to mention the fact that she had been charging at Ed with every intention of killing him just two seconds before.

Ed tried hard to pretend he hadn't heard Winry's comment, and only managed to subdue his rising temper a little.

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I know it's short, I didn't realize it wasn't longer. Oh well. Maybe next chapter will be extra long. It will also pick up RIGHT where this one left off. So, yes, reviews are always appreciated. 


	2. Chapter 2

**The Alchemists and the Fellowship  
Chapter 2**

**Disclaimer: You know the drill. I don't own my characters, sadly.**

**A/N: I didn't bother to change the title in the first chapter. I do it eventually. This chapter's still not very long, but it's longer than the first one. Enjoy!**

"So you make me an arm that can't withstand anything—" he pointed to his maimed automail, "—_and_ you call me a bean sprout midget! Anything else you want to add to your list of insults?"

If this had been a normal situation, Winry's blood would have been boiling with rage. However, given the circumstances, she couldn't contain her laughter at the flecks of dust floating down from Ed's behind where he had fallen. Behind them, whispers could be heard that sounded suspiciously like "She didn't say he was a bean sprout midget," which finally brought Ed's, Winry's, and the newly arrived Al's attention to the strange newcomers behind them.

They stared at each other awkwardly. "Um…may we help you?" Ed inquired hesitantly.

A dark brunette (or was his hair black? It was hard to tell through the grease) man seemed to appear out of nowhere next to the other strange people. "Yeah!" he said loudly. "Do you by any chance—" he was cut over by an elbow to the ribs by the tall one with pointy ears.

"_I'll_ handle this, Aragorn! You're not so good with words," Pointy-Ears said. He cleared his throat as he turned to the alchemists and Winry. "Allow us to introduce ourselves. I'm Legolas, the tall, blonde, handsome Elf with a bow and arrows along with various other good-looking weapons to match my good looks," he paused for dramatic effect, "and this is Aragorn, Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin." He added the last names quickly and unimportantly.

Winry's eyes appeared to take on the shapes of hearts. She, of course, was staring at Legolas while he basked in the female attention. It was apparently what he lived for. _He's not good at living for much else_, Gimli thought with distaste.

They were back at the awkward state, hoping that if they stared at each other long enough, information would start pouring. Somehow. The silence lasted until Legolas randomly decided to look down to find only two hobbits instead of four. He sighed with frustration.

"_Where_ did those hobbits run off to now?" He said as though the two ran off every day of their lives. This would justify Legolas's tone of voice, since the hobbits _did_ run off every day of their lives. And Legolas's life.

Ed took the opportunity to lightly slap Winry upside the head for seemingly falling in love with someone she didn't even know, and who was apparently an "Elf." Whatever that was. Unfortunately, Ed realized that he used his right hand _after_ he'd already hit her, and the hard steel (what was left) made it seem like he'd hit her twice as hard. His hand hung in midair as he stared in horror at Winry clutching her head.

Ed's hand still in midair, Gimli watched from the ground as Ed's right sleeve sank slightly from his wrist. Gimli screamed and suddenly found himself in the arms of a certain blonde Elf, who stared at the dwarf with a face contorted with surprise and disgust. Legolas immediately let his arms' contents fall to the ground. It was the second time Gimli landed on his back in the dirt in a span of five minutes.

The frightened dwarf pointed to the alchemist in the brown jacket. "H-h-his a-arm!" he stammered. "He's n-not h-human!"

Ed decided that the incident was perfect for "forgetting" that he had hit Winry, and laughed at Gimli's comment. "It's automail," he explained. "An artificial limb."

"Yeah," Winry gasped through pain. "I made it. His left leg's automail, too." She normally would have continued to babble incoherently about the structure and design and materials and Lord knows what else, but the throb in her head prevented that. Despite himself, Ed was slightly glad he'd slapped his mechanic at that moment.

The two remaining hobbits and Aragorn gasped. "_Really?_" Aragorn cried, utterly fascinated by the advanced technology.

"Yeah!" Winry jumped upright, and to Ed's dismay seemed to forget about the headache that he caused. She jerked Ed's jacket off of him and rolled up his sleeve to reveal his mutilated automail. She stared at it, suddenly remembering the previous experience by the forest. She quickly rolled the sleeve back down. "Well, let's look at his leg, shall we?" she said, and looked at Ed expectantly.

He returned her gaze ignorantly until he realized what she wanted him to do, and memories of Rush Valley roughly four years ago came flowing back to him. The unwelcome images of Winry forcing Ed to stand in his boxers in front of masses of people so she could show them the automail were replaying themselves slowly. Ed cringed and backed away from his mechanic.

"_Ohhh_ no, I'm not stripping again for your benefit! If you want to show off your skills, you can take them to your hou—" Winry was either not listening or she just flat didn't care, because at that moment she interrupted by what is commonly known as "pantsing." She yanked Ed's trousers to his ankles, revealing his light blue boxers. Ed went pale and let out a small shriek.

"I thought I told you never to make me do that again!" he shouted, and reached down for his pants, but not before Winry knocked him on his butt so she could completely remove his garment. As she completed this task, two town residents walking down the road stopped briefly to observe both the strange people and this girl undressing some guy. Ed met their eyes just long enough to blush with embarrassment and anger, then the couple moved from the scene as fast as they could.

Winry tossed Ed's pants to the side. "Hey!" he cried and began to stand so he could retrieve his clothes, but Winry thrust her hand out to stop him. He sat on the ground helpless and pantsless as his captor demonstrated and explained what seemed like each square centimeter of Ed's left leg. Aragorn and the hobbits listened with eager fascination, while Gimli still shrank with fear and while Legolas laughed hysterically at Ed. _This world is too much!_ The Elf thought as he prepared to fall to the ground due to the pain in his sides.

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I reread this after I posted it and nearly had a stroke because I caught a...a...(gasp) MISTAKE! Nuuuuuuu (runs away) Anyway...Review Review! Should I keep going or just give up? I still have a lot more ideas, hopefully it'll get funnier...and better... 


	3. Chapter 3

**The Alchemists and the Fellowship  
Chapter 3**

**Disclaimer: Yay! I love disclaimers! (Scowls) Yeah yeah, I don't own anything. I never do...(sniff)**

After many uncomfortable moments in which Ed, Al, and Winry finally introduced themselves, the alchemists (and Winry) reluctantly agreed to help the strangers find their missing hobbits, Merry and Pippin.

"Are we there yet? I can't walk any further," Frodo complained after five hard, tedious minutes of traveling. "Isn't there an easier way to travel around here?"

Sam lightly slapped his friend. "Just keep going, Frodo," he said irritably. _I don't know why I agreed to put up with this…oh yeah, that's right, because I'm stupid._

Legolas, of course, was trotting merrily some miles ahead of the group. "C'mon, you're taking all day!" he called to them in between shouts of "Merry! Pippin! I told you if you ran off one more time I'd take away afternoon tea!" It was the only meal Legolas had left to threaten the two with since he had already denied them breakfast, second breakfast, elevenses, lunch, dinner, and supper due to the same cause. _Although,_ he thought grimly, _there are probably about fifteen more hobbit meals that I don't know about._

Aragorn tried hard to keep up with the Elf, but was unsuccessful as usual. "I'm almost…there…" he gasped.

"No, you're not," Al said innocently. His voice sounded _very_ close behind Aragorn. As a matter of fact, it sounded as though…

Aragorn turned around and saw the others only about five feet behind him, walking. "Wow, you guys are fast," he rasped, and fell to the ground. Legolas, watching his companions using his keen Elf-vision, rolled his eyes and began to go back. This walking stuff wasn't doing much good for the Fellowship.

When Legolas finally reached them, he noticed that there was one less person than what they started with. "Where's Frodo?" He asked apprehensively.

He received blank stares until Sam grudgingly said, "he fell awhile back."

Legolas ground his teeth. "And you didn't bother to help him OR say anything!"

Sam replied with a look that plainly said "I was hoping that no one would notice."

Meanwhile, Ed and Winry were plenty annoyed with these new arrivals, and the rising level of irritation had created silence in the two.

"If you hadn't broken your automail, we wouldn't be in this mess!" She hissed at him. Actually, there were a lot of things that, if Ed hadn't done, they wouldn't be in the mess. Such as his birth, which he was regretting at the moment.

"You're the one that agreed to help him," he whispered back. Then he said aloud, "Ok, everyone. Winry, Al, and I are going to go get horses from our neighbor Nelly. Maybe then it will be a lot easier."

Aragorn suddenly regained consciousness and bolted upright. "Horses!" he squealed happily. Apparently he had selective hearing for the word. "I love horses!" He began to blissfully skip around in circles and sing notes so out of tune, the whole bordering forest full of noisy creatures went dead silent.

Legolas covered his face with his hands, frustrated. "_Now_ you've done it," he growled.

Ed's reaction to Aragorn's strange (or, according to Legolas, completely normal) behavior was fearful alarm, Al was greatly amused, and Winry's reaction was a strange combination of the two.

"Just go get the horses!" Legolas demanded, and pushed them in Nelly's direction. The three started for their neighbor's house, with frequent glances over their shoulder at Aragorn, who continued to skip around like a five-year-old with obsessive compulsive disorder.

When they were out of earshot, Ed turned to his brother. "What just happened?" he asked, puzzled.

"I don't know…those are some very strange characters back there."

"What were they looking for again?"

"I don't remember what they were called…'homophobics' or something."

"_Hobbits,_ Alphonse," Winry corrected him.

"That sounds like an alcoholic drink or something," Edward said.

"Or an alchemic array!" Al added. Within seconds, both of them were nearly on the ground with laughter.

"Alchemists," Winry mumbled sarcastically to herself.

Twenty minutes later, they finally reached Nelly's house.

"I think I remember her now!" Al cried as Winry rapped on the door.

"Took you long enough, Al," Ed smirked. Al stuck his tongue out at his dear brother, which was a costly mistake. Ed furrowed his brow and struck both hands together, alchemizing a pebble he'd found to completely enclose Al's tongue.

"Oh, you're in thor it now!" He attempted to say, and clapped his palms and placed them on the ground. The floor directly beneath Ed's feet vanished, leaving him to fall only four feet below the surface, which was still nearly over his head.

"You get me out of here right now!" Ed yelled, but gave Al no time to respond as he caused columns to rise quickly under Al's feet, knocking him face first into the ground. Al looked up, annoyed, and clapped his hands together again as Ed finally climbed out of the pit. Nothing happened.

"Ha, guess you lost your powers due to stupidity, smart on—" Ed suddenly lost control of his whole body. Ed gave Al his best ugh,-guess-I-shouldn't-be-surprised evil glare. Al slapped his knee with laughter.

"Let's see you get out of _this_ one, Mr. Amazing State Alchemist!" Using the part of his soul he attached to Ed's body, Al bent his brother's body to pick up a small stone. Raising Ed's right hand to the perfect throwing position, Al began to move Ed's legs to face Winry.

"AUGH! No! No! Al! No! C'mon! I didn't mean it!" He watched his legs in absolute terror as they took a step toward his mechanic. "Alphonse! Stop! Right now! I'm sorry, okay! No! Augh! No! AL!" Winry turned around just in time to see Ed's hand right fling the tiny rock at the top of her head. Her eyes seemed to instantly turn a nice orange shade with fury. "Winry, it wasn't me! Al did it! It was all…"

"But she saw you do it, Ed! It couldn't have been me!" Al said playfully. Ed wasn't seeing the humor. Apparently, neither was Winry as she pinned Ed to the ground, fist raised. Nelly chose that exact moment to answer her door.

Their neighbor stood in the doorframe for a maximum of two seconds before stepping back in the house and closing the door again.

"Nelly! Come back! It's not what it looks like!" Winry cried, throwing herself at the door.

"Yes, it is," Ed and Al said in unison.

Winry whirled around to face them. "I suggest you fix that hole you put in the porch." The brothers eyed it at the same time and panicked.

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A/N: Like it? Review! Hate it? Review! Have no emotion? Review! Me gusta...reviews... 


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